“As soon as it falls asleep, you go to bed immediately,” Mom advises. “Spit on household chores, do only a child,” an experienced sister recommends. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself,” a friend reminds. But when the house is baby, and there is no experience yet, it can be difficult to keep up with everything. It’s good when the child is calm and sweet at night. And if not?
Some young mothers complain: “I don’t have time to clean my teeth”, “to go to the shower is a whole thing, I don’t get away from the child”, “I don’t remember when I had breakfast calmly – even if he sleeps, I try to combine both food, cooking, and stillReply to the message “.
Each mother eventually finds her own way. In cognitive-behavioral therapy there is an element known as behavioral activation. This is a flexible, based on actual data, an approach to solving the problems of each new phase of life.
Mostly this approach includes behavior that raises the mood. Clinical psychologist Lindsay Brauer offers three ways to use behavioral activation in the postpartum period.
1. Sleep and care for yourself: Balance search. If a dream prevents you to take care of yourself – for example, taking a shower and there is – it means that you need to change the ratio a little. It makes sense to make a list of “minimum” daily care. It will include the necessary one that helps maintain behavioral activation and reduces the risks of depression. For some, this is a daily shower and the opportunity to calmly and fully have breakfast.
For others – the ability to “draw eyebrows” or lay your hair. And for some-at least brushing the teeth as a nightly ritual. These cases take some time and can vary depending on the behavior, features and phases of the child’s development. It is important to show flexibility here, but do not forget to adhere to at least a minimum from a list of a list.
Experts recommend using the newborn schedule in mom’s interests. Perhaps one daytime dream of a child will be a period of relaxation for her, when you can simply “punch” on the TV with the baby in her arms. And the other – with a productive time to care about yourself.
2. Classes for yourself. Which of the parents heard advice: “Do not forget to do something for yourself”? Everything, of course, depends on what is possible in current circumstances. The easiest way to achieve this goal is to combine pleasant with useful. For example, if you have to wash the dishes, then to your favorite music. And when the child does not want to sleep and you have to carry it in his arms – turn on a pleasant series.
Cares to take care of themselves are also helped by classes that increase the sense of control. For example, lay out clothes on the shelves, wash the bottles or call a girlfriend. No matter how strange it may sound, simple tasks that help quickly get the result can help young parents to regain their strength and energy.
The reason is that the current basic activity does not give them such a sense of https://cpnda.com/wp/fotos/ achieving the goal, because raising a child is a long process, and the result can be seen not at all soon.
3. Caution with obligations. “I have to call a second cousin”, “I must do dinner”, “I must wash the sink” … According to psychologists, obligation, this is a dangerous path from useful behavioral activation to the risks of the development of depression. Sometimes these “I must” seem to be fulfilled, but far from always, taking into account the fact that the resources of the young mother are limited, and there are a lot of worries. How to be?
Focus on daily achievements, no matter how small they may seem. And remember that before, when a woman could have time much more, she was in a different situation and other circumstances. Perhaps today the child was sleeping poorly, and my mother could not get enough sleep. Or he has colic, anxiety – but you never know what else. Then the resources of the woman are naturally limited.
Therefore, if, in addition to taking care of the child, the mother is able to fulfill at least the indicated minimum for herself – it is already good. Perhaps tomorrow it will be easier and you can do something else. The main thing is to focus on your achievements, and not on what has not been done.
In fact, it all comes down to the search for balance. Sleep, take care of yourself, do something on the household when there is an opportunity. Ultimately, every mother finds her own options, and life becomes much more ordered.